This post almost didn’t make it to you in time. It seemed impossible. Four hours until Thursday- the very day I’ve been promising myself that I’ll have these blog posts written by, and starting a post from scratch at this late stage seems too hard a task.

Then I have Rachel Hollis, Author of Girl, Stop Apologising in my head, telling me:

“You can do hard things!”

So I use the strategy Hollis mentions in her book: a 5 second rule by author Mel Robbins. After counting down from 5, I will imagine the best motivational soundtrack in my head and get myself moving like I’m on a freakin’ rocket to the moon.

5,4,3,2,1….Come Alive from The Greatest Showman Soundtrack ignites something from within. Holy smokes: it actually works…!

So I start to type. I have two paragraphs complete when I hear my youngest crying upstairs. Suddenly, The Greatest Showman is replaced by Eminem-

“Snap back to reality. Oh there goes gravity…!”

After tucking two sleepy children and an eleven year old black Labrador into bed, I enter the upstairs hallway and catch sight of myself in the mirror. Oh good Lord!

The hair, which hasn’t been washed in a week looks like it hasn’t been washed for a month. The baggy, bobbly dad jumper has seen better days whilst my make-up free face frowned disapproving back at me. Suddenly, Rachel Hollis’ words in my head again: “Girl, Wash Your Face!” Although easily as applicable would’ve been: “Girl, wash your hair!”

I should point out that I’ve actually never read Hollis’ Girl, Wash Your Face!” so I am being rather presumptuous about the concept of the book!

Okay, despite momentary reality check, I reminded myself that I was in the middle of doing hard things. I made it back downstairs. Three hours and 15 minutes until Thursday. Still no blog post complete.

5,4,3,2,1…Stronger by Daft Punk and Kanye West.

My mind wanders to the reflection of myself from the mirror upstairs. I can’t seem to shake it. It reminds me of my recently updated staff ID card at work. I posted it on my social media Instagram account just this week as an example of a #transformationtuesday image.

On the left, a make-up covered face masking the stresses of an overworked mind and body. On the right, two years later, a make-up free, leaner but far from vibrant looking face. What’s not clear, is the body to which these faces are attached. The face on the left was attached to an obese body and the face on the right was attached to a body that was now stronger and leaner as a result of training consistently for 4 days a week.

But I’m conflicted by these images in that I don’t necessarily identify with either of these women. Perhaps I’m just unable to look at them objectively.

By 2018, I’d started to take better care of my mind and body. The make up became less of a priority and I was no longer interested in heading out the door with ‘my face on’. I had a body to sculpt, damn it. I didn’t have time for such frivolous things like make-up. By this point in my body sculpting journey, which was 18 months or so down the line, I’d become rather good at cutting corners in other non essential areas of my life that would enable me to keep up with training amidst life’s already daily demands. The demands of working full time. The demands of being a mum whilst hubby worked away. The demands of planning food for us all, often with something different for me (due to allergies) running a house and planning my strength training and cardio schedule. How important was make-up anyway?

On top of these responsibilities and already demanding obligations, I’d taken on a new role as a business owner. Who does that? I was already stretching myself thin, why would I take on the added stress of learning something new? There goes my hope of achieving any sort of work life balance. Had I gone too far in the opposite direction in my pursuit of prioritising my health?

Had I gone from a stressed out, overworked, obese woman with no energy to a stressed out, overworked, strong woman with no sense of self? That doesn’t even make any sense!

Hollis, believes that there is no such thing as a work life balance. Rather, you can excel in one area of life for a period of time whilst another area of your life takes a hit. I’m paraphrasing but you get the idea, right?

Is that what these photos show?

The most revealing truth from these photos is that there are some things I used to do that I’ve stopped doing altogether. Some things I tried to convince myself that didn’t matter to me. Like applying make-up for example. I used to take great pride and get a great deal of enjoyment from applying make up daily. I did that for me. It made me feel good. It was a daily ritual. My hair, too was something I liked to spend time styling. I’m lucky if I wash it once a week now!

Nowadays, I’m rarely found anywhere, least of all work, with make-up on and people often remark that I look tired as a result. My hair too: thank goodness for the messy top knot.

My attention is broken by the sound of snoring coming from the bedroom directly above where I sit writing this post. That’s likely to be the dog! I digress..!

Two hours and 30 minutes until Thursday.

5,4,3,2,1… Back to The Greatest Showman soundtrack. From Now On.

So maybe I did go from one extreme to the other. From now on I just have to find a balance between what I want, whilst staying true to the things that make me feel like me.

I feel better when I make the best nutritional choices for my body and when I lift heavy things. Second to this, I feel better when I look better so I’ll continue in my pursuit of sculpting my body and I’ll have to make an effort to make the time to apply make-up again. Could it really be this simple?

In achieving these things, I’m going to have to accept that 80% of the desired outcome is good enough as long as I’m showing up and working consistently toward my goals. Just keep moving forward, Susan.

Much like this blog post with its self indulgent content this week, a less than ideal read for you(!), there are areas of my life that I’m okay with achieving 80% of the perceived outcome. At least for the time being. Controversial for a teacher to say, right!

Only, I know that on occasion, my 100%, might be someone else’s 50%, meaning that even if I give 80%, it’s going to be not just enough but pretty damn good. The goal after all, is never perfection. Rather it is always about progress.

The only exception to this is when I train where I give 100% working to failure every time but that’s a subject for another blog post.

Less than 90 minutes until Thursday. Starting to get tired now and I’m aware of the irony of needing an early night.

5,4,3,2,1… From now on...

..What’s waited for tomorrow started tonight and I begin to realise that I’ve almost reached my goal, which was to write a blog post in time for Thursday.

The snoring from the bedroom above has stopped in favour of an old Labrador barging her way through the living room door as if to tell me to get to bed. In addition, there’s a little girl calling my name.

11.30pm

So that’s it. This is 80% folks and with 30 minutes to go. This is me calling it a night but not before I did what I had to do. I did a hard thing and I know that if I can do it, then you my friend, can do hard things too!

 Have some health and fitness motivation of your own to share? I would love to connect with you @susanrenniefit on Instagram

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